Condimental Change

I was writing, meandering, really, on the fact that every day can be your best day ever, should you believe it.

The writing that I am linking to now is something I wrote in the depths of my frustration, and was used to great avail to prove a point to myself. That I really was crazy.

With Musical Influence

There are events from today which have calmed my spirit, but to get to the future, one must release the past. Relish in the mustard seed and ketchup when you can.

Fam jam

Mr. Clean in second sight

Recons not to dim a light

For granted be friend amidst

Tiny foe or tethered twist

He asks his daughter’s scowl subside

For each one of us leave not her side

To answer one more painful tune

Just as the spring begins full bloom

Be lone

Weeding my mind of horror

I bother to sit for days

There’s a common theme throughout the house,

A young girl as she plays

I don’t have time to spend with her,

Truth is,

(I couldn’t care)

Not because I’ve lost her trust,

But because I’m never there

If I could write the truth again,

This is what I’d say,

The young girl is blessed here,

And wallow shall she play,

The world gives us all a chance,

And interrupts us not,

I regret to type this poem out,

Outlier should we fought.

In english word is careful prose,

A time capsule of repent,

Remembering a horror time,

The tower and it’s scent

The one who fell first should be built up,

So the second too,

The emotion in this churchy house,

Anonymity blessed you.

You know the name for those remorse, fellow sudden few,

Sitting among the dinner table,

Said not that laugh for you.

We wave a hand, dismiss the class, and gesture for a sign,

The father in our humble places, stops us just in time.

You’d think the poem ought to end, and trust that true it shall,

A one voice tone, a pitch, a phone, the sister mind (oh, wow).

In present time she is yards away,

Separated by door and wall.

She pled to Granma, where to now,

And blindly was answered for her question, not that I could see,

She wanted to go back to play,

Her mother not right there.

The elder always talk in the tone,

To make me second guess, I guessed,

Truth is they likely just share love,

A photo, plan or moment. I digress,

The actions taken against my soul,

A blame I cannot muster,

Wanting someone to understand,

I am still just a youngster…

Getting to, the mongrel barks, (it’s humour – love her well),

A reader of the written sound,

I remember that I write.

It’s September, like last year, feeling all the same. Access to the best of things, albeit not a game.

Computer broken, at least the keys, and instagram obsessed…

In three days I’ve haunted more, news and spies alest,

One or two laughs. One or two.

Maybe maybe more.

In my mind the humour hits,

Yet judgement also, well.

As a boy with a curious mind, and efferwhelming cause,

I wonder if the space in time, between the space’s time,

Could be filled with other choice, you get it, there’s a noise,

Attention drawn to subtle things, by memory and their choice.

I can control the anxiety once or twice, but not just in the morn, in fact when I wake up, it’s like I’ve been reborn.

I watch all day as dendrytes click, and my mind seeks out the path… my body with a barrier, seen by what I’ve read. People always cheering on, or beating to a pulp, the efforts of the countless mass, the hordes of people there.

With 7.5 billion on the earth, one asks that if it’s true… when I was born I was only one, one cell that had been fused. Now God above who answers all, and gives that which we need… the population of the earth, I know…

I’m waiting for the chant to end,

Not knowing where it

… the two lines I answered her, or him but likely her,

Because I believe I’ve had a connection, a thought link through the text. She gives me apple, I take a bite, I swallow up my doubt…

Was she evil, am I good, why should the air be clear,

Weight as I change, the pressure builds (a brother nearing by)…

The house sits calm, the anticipate, I will need to break my rhyme…

The guy he yells, my floors they shake, no matter what I do. The fact is my ears can be good, my heart allowed, my finger starts to fade…

In English I am like you. I hope. Maybe it’s

Another common phrase that interrupts the song…

Outside the 10×10 right here, I cannot seem to guess, where everyone is or what they do, or why it even matters. Rightfully, I am likely safe, though if you knew me doubt, I forgive…

Doubt I forgive

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

36 characters,

I’m lonely. Right? So my dance is just a test? A tapping on an android screen, romance at it’s finest best? Is there something I can do… to break this cycle now? I’ve seen your message, played the war, and don’t want the pain to end, ok? If we fear change, and I am hurt, I cannot choose my happy. It startles me to feel the pleasure, because to me it’s foreign, to you it’s new (so test), Yet truly it is yes. I waver in time, literally now as I write, everyday sometimes. The words sound great to me, a witch’s brew perhaps… what am I intoxicated on? Myself?

It’s likely dopamine, or something else (Sinek you made me laugh)… I realize I feel this way and buzz my bursted buzz my bursted wind…

The ghoster in me, the ghoster in you. We don’t know. We know. The girl is downstairs. I’ve seen some stranger dreams, some truer, the last night’s I forget. It’s likely food that’s on my nose… yes… the smell…

Before I start to delete, because someone makes a sound… before I paralyze the timing rhythm… or jinx a muted sound.

I think my life is in or out,

Awake or not asleep

Sounds like imploding colour


I found sonoluminescence interesting – reference wikipedia from a link, because, it can be colour caused by the implosion (inwards collapsing explosion) of a bubble by sound. Could this be what causes the feelings of synesthesia? Music changing the properties of our brain fluids and releasing colourful thoughts in our mind when we are wearing headphones?

JAT (just a thought)

Hope rhymes with cope

Hiccups are caused, as we should know, by a lack of air flow, diaphragm movements become uncontrolled, through fear, or other tactics, we can breathe, a lot of old tales to believe. As I sit, I feel aware and cognizant, I don’t have the hiccups, though I once knew a rambunctious druid self named as such. A little hurricane, a small tranquility, modesty. Anyway, rambling. Not as straight forward as it might have seemed. Peikaboo. Miss you: you know. —– from a shaman to a paladin, a healing wave traded for a flash of light – though we did trade them in for blackened wings: —


20 minutes can teach a person a lot.

If I can’t look up for the cure,

If I can’t look down for the solution,

I can look within for the answer.

It’s a Sunny Afternoon

I was outside, wandered, felt a weird pull to the bank. Took out $5. Wished I had more, thought I should decline the transaction from the ATM, that is to say I’m not sure where $5 went. $9.02 for two Samosa burgers.

At the library my friend saw a comic book, I saw, then we saught another, wonder woman, trigger, then a lapse and finally home.

Wondering if I should head outside into the foray again, I have 3:31 on the clock and maybe enough time and patience… without a trigger I hope for a few more minutes.

Really, I sit here at the door with the dog waiting for guests to a family home. A little regret. I have an article for her birthday, I’ll post it on the 6th.

Hope you are having a good afternoon. You, you, yes, you. Yeah…. yo. Time to choose lol I think someone is here…

5:00 after me, 4:00 to start chasing

Heading like a madman to crime infested waters (are we sure, architect?) That the renown fails the time to speak. I have messages slowly , slowly, calming water, free coffee but despite the allure, I realize my comma comma chameleon…

Anyway. It’s Saturday. My sister celebrates today her birthday, I celebrate her birth, I head to the lake perhaps should I swim? Dan, my friend, who used to room with me, would like to meet up, here or there. I know the logic confounds, an instant release of sent patience break. Text.

What is a title? More than name, a role, a position.

Blanket printer. Loom. Wanted.

3:00 to let go.

To my church, jeez. (Last week) (long week) (when?)

I have packed a bag, got my supplies. Aimed for Redhill but then demise-wise? Wanting coffee, missed a bus. Saw a spider think of us. Wandered home, coffee chilled, ate the donut to no thrill. Dad went out as I sat outdoors, warning came for salesman whores. Laughed inside and felt allured, attempted business – oops not insured.

Left some messages, throughout the day. Honestly all I want is to have some play. Church almost ends about this time, I was early to be late- not a crime. Lying is so I digress, I took a picture of a man’s chest. Weirdly noticed he was hot, offered water, not my cock. This is getting awkward fast, hence the message dare not pass the filter of my perogative mind, I’ll save it, fail it, and

Answer your original message?

Needing prayers. I actually cry when I’m nice to my family and then manage to get angry. I owe repentance, so I paid the fine I was given by mom in triple, stupidly thinking money is the cure. Warning myself is useless, and I’m wanting to be on my game, A – right now I’m laughing when I should be disappointed, beat up, I feel bad, I have so much.

So yeah God I am sorry I didn’t make it out today. I know you enjoy prayers and worship. Often I do, yet time flows so disruptively I sometimes question my potential to connect – pushing a rock with no gravity, kind of counter.

So yeah. If Heaven listens to voicemail, I hope the next time I call I leave a message.


Sundays are only a few hours long (wren’t they. It must be Valentine’s Day. That was a repeat of my sexual history in a nutshell. There’s a high chance you will see a lot of deleted messages.

This guy is
The sky is

I had the Barenaked Ladies song “Old Apartment” going through my head as I prepared for church.

I’m happy God speaks to me. I need to work on my fellowship with Jesus. And I know the women in my life are my holy spirit, technology is that weird line between neutral and evil.

Did I earn $25 or a laugh?