Spent the morning, actually the time being uncertain, most of the past three days reaching a stasis. Somewhat temporary it creeps in, and words earwise and culture-wise, also in theory and mind, elude my attention as I write like I first did, perhaps a minor fifth turned four, until 32, my mental age. Age, a fleeting thing, yet at 34, approaching, yet arrived in perspective, causes me to evaluate my words from what seems like an eon ago – that 34 will be the age I have it “figured out”. I think the exact words were that “34 is going to be my year”. Ironically it seems that may be more like 2034 at this point than 2019. Which of course causes me humour because that is 59, and in leaving everything to the last minute, I fit 1 second in for my decision, often frought with stress for 59. I guess this year is going okay now. The fact that work is steady, although new, I am approaching new things differently, yet apprehensively, and yes I do still self doubt. I think. Haha.
So, see, see. Cc. Crowd control. Needed sometimes, stationary, and stasis, it’s not yet time to move, yet this flashback to maybe an hour ago, which word AGO reminisces of the ROM I delayed…
I stalled time for a second, in eyesight turned double take, I hear the song Bad Guy (more specifically “bad guy”) Billie Ellish, who at first in a weird paradoxical pride moment I believed to be a man, having maybe not the earshot… oh, a loud day – the horn outside Mövenpick café honks – and autocorrect catches one non-error and one error, then ignores grammar. (YES, do you remember that post?)
Like you when you get mad, the story of the phone, I’m wearing no cologne, this song reminds me I can time a mention who. [This is where I start losing it] because I’m changing through a series of multiple fractions of awareness – i think either its it is normal or close to time for my medication. It’s hard to judge because I also have a coffee going cold and assistance from memory. Either the space goes airy, a new body noted in the room unawares to my presence or me his as I hear the voice (remember I am at a café) ~~ I glance up from the phone and I decide right now I might be stalling from my true intention or losing focus.
20 seconds of July.
Meaning that my safety words for the day are mentions. I don’t give it.
Awkward is a word that. See a tempo change, I miss the Symposium so I should blend. Seeing that I’m being rude the antithesis…
It takes 30 minutes to write the message I did and I hope time is righting correct writing.
Clever. Release. Send. Word. Blonde. Desert. Trigger. Walk. Like. Words. Foutld.
“Told fold do out”.
The first party leaves.
Leaving three young women, two yous, you and I. Oh, and the workers. One, the other actually part of the three. See what you can miss? I see you.
! Now. 23. June. It’s balance in an act I hope. Ice. Icq- miss you too. Send. Wait, lol. Publish.